What if you suddenly saw
that the silver of water was brighter than the silver
of money? What if you finally saw
that the sunflowers, turning toward the sun all day
and every day – who knows how, but they do it – were
more precious, more meaningful than gold?
~ Mary Oliver
Today is Christmas Eve. It’s been ages since I made any effort at noting notable experiences from my life. I figured while Lil was impatiently waiting for 8 o’clock to arrive (family present time), I would just jot down a few thoughts.
I am thankful for so much this year. I am thankful most of all for love. For being loved, for having love to give, for loving what I do, for loving who I know, for loving myself. The year 2007 was unlike any other in so many respects. It was certainly a searching year, a defining year, a year of dreams crushed while others were realized. This Christmas Eve is the twinkling star of hope at the end of a long journey through a tunnel marked by darkness and fear. I am no stranger to the blackness inside, the desperation.
But, for the first time in probably twenty-six years I am standing outside myself looking at my life and thinking, “That woman is lucky.” I have everything I could possibly have hoped to have by now, and probably a lot more, too. I haven’t done things the traditional way. I seem to be incapable of following that path. But, the choices I have made, wrong or right, have led me to a beautiful place, and I am so happy to be here, with the snow, and the lights, and the gifts, on this cozy Christmas Eve.